I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
ADAM CAROLLAThe thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
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The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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We never pick up a brush and stand in front of our own easel.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
ADAM CAROLLA






