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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.

Adam Carolla

If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
ADAM CAROLLA

Country Dude Enough Funny Joy People Television Thinking
Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
ADAM CAROLLA

Ball Basketball Game Inspirational Playground Ymca
Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you’re gay.
ADAM CAROLLA

Crocs Down Gay Look Realize Wearing
Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
ADAM CAROLLA

Christmas Country Dad Every Imagine Seeing Three Year
Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
ADAM CAROLLA

Feel Free Higher Pay Tax
I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
ADAM CAROLLA

Anything Connection Each Emotional Mom Other Understanding
When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. .
ADAM CAROLLA

Christmas Country Dad Feel Instantly Kid Wrong
Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
ADAM CAROLLA

Buc Focus Made Making Nickle Saving
I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
ADAM CAROLLA

Money Myself Plenty Want Working
We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
ADAM CAROLLA

Animal Motivate Respond Same Sex Somebody Stimuli Thinking
The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
ADAM CAROLLA

Beautiful Beauty Definition Miracle Outside Profession
Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
ADAM CAROLLA

Everyone Fiscally Hollywood Leaving Republican Shoot Thinking
Then there’s the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I’d be, a sweatpants lesbian.
ADAM CAROLLA

Butch Dyke Funny Humor Lesbian Lipstick Sweatpant Thinking
My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
ADAM CAROLLA

Building Car Life Some Working Wrenching
I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
ADAM CAROLLA

Favourite Form Freedom Mess Podcast Really
I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
ADAM CAROLLA

Car Guy Hammer Nut Sort Swinging Turning Wrenching

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.

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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.

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Popular Authors

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