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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.

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Diarrhea Funny Hand Humor Riding Roller Coater Sex

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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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Screw guilt — I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn’t bother me. I’m an atheist!
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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You’re 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don’t have to kill yourself, you’re just waiting.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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Speaking of sleeping bags, has anything ever had a less creative name?
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I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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