I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
ADAM CAROLLAIf my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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I’m just gonna tell her, “Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.”
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Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.
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You have the unenviable choice between being dropped off last or being dropped off first and having a bunch of losers who can’t afford cab fare and have no friends or loved ones with cars knowing exactly where you live.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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Rich people don’t pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes – they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn’t pay taxes.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
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I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
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I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money… and not do stuff that was dirty.
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
ADAM CAROLLA