It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I’ve done so much morning radio that I won’t be overwhelmed by it, but it’s still going to be a challenge.
ADAM CAROLLAIf my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
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Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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It’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
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I guess my feeling is that if you’re going to make a joke, that’s fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you’re trying to make.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.
ADAM CAROLLA