I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
ADAM CAROLLATelling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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I know everything because I know nothing.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.
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You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
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Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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If you’re a guy, you have absolutely no idea what’s going on at any time in the relationship, ever.
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[Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
ADAM CAROLLA