Don’t do your best, do my best.
ADAM CAROLLATelling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
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I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.
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I’d never hurt another person.
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
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You don’t realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It’s a card you get so you can navigate society.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.
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