I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
ADAM CAROLLAIt’s funny when you’re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff.
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The shuttle is the worst $20 you’ll ever save. It adds 90 minutes to whatever a Town Car or cab would have been.
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I’ll never get to do that.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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Lets not focus on saving a nickel… lets focus on making a buck.
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That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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Whoever is for higher taxes, feel free to pay higher taxes.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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We’re all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate black bears not to go diving into dumpsters, first you have to think about why they do it.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
ADAM CAROLLA