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I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.

W. C. Fields

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Hands Myself See
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Myself Perspective Sea
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.
W. C. FIELDS

Argument Attitude Myself
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS

Age Food Myself Need
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
I’m free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. FIELDS

Equality Freedom Hate Myself
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner
I’m looking for loopholes. (Said when caught reading the Bible.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religious
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe

I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.

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I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.

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