“I drink with impunity, or anyone else who invites me.”

Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.

Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.

Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.

This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.

I must have a drink of breakfast.

My main ambition as a gardener is to water my orange trees with gin, then all I have to do is squeeze the juice into a glass.

You can fool some of the people some of the time and that’s enough to make a decent living.

When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.

I’m in nobody’s circle, I’ve always been an outsider.

I had to work my way up to be where I am now. All these companies could have done the same.

You cannot conceive how I ache to be with you: how I would die for one hour.

Whores don’t live in company of poor men, citizens never support a weak company and birds don’t build nests on a tree that doesn’t bear fruits.

When one is consumed by the sorrows of life, three things give him relief: offspring, a wife, and the company of the Lord’s devotees.

No matter what you study, the thing that you know best is what you grew up with.

Come Dance with Me , come dance.

He who runs away from a fearful calamity, a foreign invasion, a terrible famine, and the companionship of wicked men is safe.