This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDSSex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
-
-
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS -
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS -
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS -
I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS -
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B. C.
W. C. FIELDS -
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS -
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS -
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS -
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS -
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.
W. C. FIELDS -
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS -
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
W. C. FIELDS -
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FIELDS