“Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.”

I brought you in this world, and I can take you out!

When you carry a gun, you mean to harm somebody, kill somebody.

When you graduate from college, they tell you to follow your dreams. Does anyone say you have to wake up first?

You can never give complete authority and overall power to anyone until trust can be proven.

Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you’re pouring, or drinking.

Advertising is the most fun you can have with your clothes on.

If you know what you want, you will recognize it when you see it.

As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by survival of the fittest.

I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.

The serve was invented so that the net could play.

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don’t cry over the one person who doesn’t.

The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.

Only In Coexistence Is Sustained Existence Possible.

Men imagine that thought can be kept secret, but it cannot; it rapidly crystallizes into habit, and habit solidifies into circumstance.

It is the preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else, that prevents us from living freely and nobly.

I don’t need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.

Women select men. That makes them nature, because nature is what selects.

Music, to create harmony, must investigate discord.

I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you’re alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.”

True thinking is rare – just like true listening.