I’d like a nice piece of salmon that’s not too pink inside and yet isn’t too dry or crisp either.
BOB SAGETNot a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!
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Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
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I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
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I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby’s behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.
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When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they’re not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it’s cable.
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That was not Bob Saget. His comedic style is definitely more twisted, and he has an edgier side than he showed in Full House.
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I will always prefer a hardback book, but I’m drawn to digital because it’s so easy to acquire them when I’m having a need-to-read moment.
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Stop It, stop lighting your butthol on fire, and everybody listen to me. If you light your ass on fire, I hope you have boxers or a filter of somekind, because if your a bareass person.
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The selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously – accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you’re basically working in front of them during what could’ve been specifically ‘quality time.’
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I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn’t get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn’t join a biker club.
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What I have now are good problems of trying to decide and what I really want to do is good work next. My phone’s ringing a lot more and I’ve got nine lines so when it doesn’t ring, it’s very frustrating.
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If you’re a host of a video show and you’re on the cleanest show on television for eight years, people want to say, ‘Well, that’s what that person does.’ That was the dilemma for me, career-wise.
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Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
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Most people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
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The secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.
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My mom just told me it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.
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My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.
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Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me.
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Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
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I become a chameleon for wherever I am.
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My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
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It’s 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It’s enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren’t there that are alive.
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And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You’d be nervous too if you knew that one day you’d get your head cut off and… filled with stuffing.
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It’s a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is – reading the news or speaking to people.
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Valuable people are undervalued.
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I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.
BOB SAGET