I am totally, absolutely romantic. When I broke up with a girl I would listen to the most heart-breaking music and make it worse. That’s what girls do. I think I am a girl really.
BILLY CONNOLLYI’ve been a poser for f–ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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People die all the time. It’s just that you’re not around.
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Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.
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I don’t understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I’m amazed what people come up with when they look at them.
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Behind the proscenium arch, you can’t always hear what people in the audience are saying.
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I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
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Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
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If you give people a chance, they shine.
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Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
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There’s nothing like it, but it’s not as good as you think it’s going to be. . . . I was disappointed because there are records of people finding things that have been there for years. I was hoping for a shirt button, or my club’s badge – but not a sausage.
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There’s an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it’s a different venue.
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I used to be a folk singer, but I was… dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.
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As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It’s something they reserve just for me.
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The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don’t care what you think.
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I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he’s telling them all different things.
BILLY CONNOLLY