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Television is the box they buried entertainment in.

Bob Hope

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
BOB HOPE

Heart Humor Laughter
I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
BOB HOPE

Home Marriage Years
England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
BOB HOPE

England Funny Humorous Performance
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE

Firsts Green Oscars
The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you’re God’s frozen people.
BOB HOPE

Frozen Guy People
On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
BOB HOPE

Alligators Bags Golf
I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humble Humor
Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Definitely Essence Life
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPE

Funny Handshake Tired Water
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Play Tried Weight
I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don’t they just print our money with a return address on it?
BOB HOPE

Addresses Government Perfect Return
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE

Men President Six
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he’s really pissed off.
BOB HOPE

Jesus News Pissed
I have too much money invested in sweaters.
BOB HOPE

Invested Sweater
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPE

Citizen Funny Golf Hope

Television is the box they buried entertainment in.

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Television is the box they buried entertainment in.

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