Golf is a funny game. It’s done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I’m the healthiest idiot in the world.
BOB HOPETelevision is the box they buried entertainment in.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.
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By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.
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I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
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Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
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A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
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The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
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On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
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I led such a sheltered life I didn’t go out with girls until I was almost four.
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The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he’s not running for anything.
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There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
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I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
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A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
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You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.
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Golf is my profession Show business is just to pay the green fees.
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I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
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Please don’t stand up on my account.
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One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
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My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes.
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Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!
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I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
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It’s so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
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Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
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Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
BOB HOPE