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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

Bob Hope

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Money People
Please don’t stand up on my account.
BOB HOPE

Account Line One Please Stand
The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPE

Funny Handshake Tired Water
I’ll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105.
BOB HOPE

Age Golf Live Shoot
I don’t know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He’s done nothing.
BOB HOPE

Carter Done Nothing People
America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan – Go for the Gold.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Humorous
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
BOB HOPE

Instant Laughter Vacation
It was a great honour to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. I didn’t know they had a caddie division.
BOB HOPE

Caddies Division Fame Golf
Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
BOB HOPE

Boxes Entertainment Television
Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
BOB HOPE

Blow Home Hurricane Tornadoes Typhoon Worry
I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Love People Witty
I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
BOB HOPE

Funny Humorous Littles
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
BOB HOPE

Balls Go Golf Yards
When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things – not the great occasions – that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
BOB HOPE

Happiness Inspirational Laughter
Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
BOB HOPE

Country Dirty People War
Now that the war is winding down, I want to say I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here – just for me.
BOB HOPE

Appreciate Want War Winding

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

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Popular Authors

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