“Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn’t get elected, he’d go back to acting.”

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.

I tell jokes to pay my green fees.

I love flying. I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.

There was nothing subtle about our landing. The pilot just pointed the nose at the ground and let her rip.

We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.

You know you’ve reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.

I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.

When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.

You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor’s age by the rings on her fingers.

It was a typically British birth… I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward… I came out in sympathy.

We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.

I was drawn into acting due to the fact that I could express myself better.

Film is a time capsule.

So perhaps we always are acting, in a sense. But you meet someone you feel you admire or you “know,” and it’ll be different for that reason.

I wanted people who are though of for their acting and not their gymnastic abilities or their muscles.

Each man has some part to play.

The reason why I found acting is because my father passed away.

Someone who is a retired judge or an acting judge willing to step down from their judgeship, someone ideally who has prosecutorial experience, but someone who could come in and give credibility to the Russia investigation that is severely in jeopardy.

And their many causes still acting on the surface of our globe with undiminished power, which are changing, and will continue to change it, as long as it shall last.