I would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars… I’m not bitter at all.
BILL BAILEYI would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars… I’m not bitter at all.
BILL BAILEYSo many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
BILL BAILEYI’m sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically.
BILL BAILEYIt’s not a beard, it’s an animal I’ve trained to sit very still.
BILL BAILEYDo not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
BILL BAILEYI tend to go through periods worrying, “Where am I going, I can’t see a way out of this,” and it becomes quite stressful. But sometimes you have to take a bet on yourself.
BILL BAILEYWork hard, save and live within your means.
BILL BAILEYIn Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we’re united and enjoy life – Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
BILL BAILEYI know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
BILL BAILEYToughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.
BILL BAILEYYou remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order to attract its main prey.
BILL BAILEYTonight’s show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn’t – haven’t made my mind up yet.
BILL BAILEYContentment is knowing you’re right
BILL BAILEYWithout the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
BILL BAILEYStupid National Anthem… Look at this flag; Two bears fighting over a pineapple. What kind of message does that send to the world? “Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit.”
BILL BAILEYWhy do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a farmer and saying ‘Can I get in with the cows? I just fancy scuffling about with them.’
BILL BAILEY