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You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.

Bob Hope

She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.
BOB HOPE

Braves Family Kid Players
If my golf game was a prize fight, they’d stop it.
BOB HOPE

Fighting Games Golf
Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
BOB HOPE

Country Littles People Promise Way
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
BOB HOPE

Comedy Funny Marriage Two
My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.
BOB HOPE

Gun Makeup Men Spray
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE

Firsts Green Oscars
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
BOB HOPE

Age Growing Long
I don’t do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.
BOB HOPE

Country People Political Jokes
England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there.
BOB HOPE

England Funny Humorous Performance
We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the cigar ashes.
BOB HOPE

Ashes Country Funny Humorous People
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
Everybody knows what California smog is – that’s fog with the vitamins removed.
BOB HOPE

Country Fog Funny Remove
A very, very religious man. Every time I eat a peanut, I feel immortal.
BOB HOPE

Men One Line Religious
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
BOB HOPE

Caring Funny Laughter Transform Unbearable
Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Night Suffering
Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Play

You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.

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You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.

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Popular Authors

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