Live comedy’s a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You’re only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.
BILL BAILEYI try to appreciate the simple things. I’ve just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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Contentment is knowing you’re right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.
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I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
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So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
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I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.
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Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
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My wife bought me a vintage Gibson guitar that isn’t just beautiful but has tremendous sentimental value. I have plenty of guitars for live gigs but this is one to treasure.
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Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
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I’m a vegetarian, I’m not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they’re nearly fish aren’t they.
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There we go, that’s it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.
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I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.
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Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.
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I’m English, and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate; nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.
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Tonight’s show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn’t – haven’t made my mind up yet.
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Relaxed Empiricism — I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
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Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
BILL BAILEY