Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?
BILL BAILEYI try to appreciate the simple things. I’ve just been camping with my son and I enjoyed that just as much if not more than a holiday in a posh hotel. I like making a cup of tea and bacon sarnie in the morning.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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I know that to be a true fact because I read it in Heat magazine
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I’m quite lucky, because I’ve got a small, decorative concrete pig.
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Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide.
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Relaxed Empiricism — I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
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Why do people want to swim with dolphins? The equivalent would be an Indonesian fellow coming over here, going up to a farmer and saying ‘Can I get in with the cows? I just fancy scuffling about with them.’
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It’s the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life.
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Stupid National Anthem… Look at this flag; Two bears fighting over a pineapple. What kind of message does that send to the world? “Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit.”
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But our country’s equivalent of gritty reality is more like “Look out Sarge, he’s got a shooter!”
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Marijuana? It’s harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it
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It’s not a beard, it’s an animal I’ve trained to sit very still.
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Yes. Yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. I often go to my fridge, “Hullo, we’re out of milk. I say mother, where’s the milk?”
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Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
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Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!
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Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.
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Television is where you earn regular money so you can plan a little bit but even then only when you have a regular gig. If you’re just doing the odd appearance, you don’t know if it will carry on.
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