“Do you know anyone who has a lease on life? It isn’t a question of if; it’s a question of when.”

You’ve got a problem. Part of what you own isn’t yours. It belongs to Uncle Sam. May I show you how much belongs to Uncle Sam?

I meet people and a lot of times, instead of saying, “Are you from the East Coast?” people just go, “you’re from the East Coast, right?”, having no reason to have known that. I don’t know what that is. Maybe it’s just that I’m Jewish.

I do not sell life insurance. I sell money. I sell dollars for pennies apiece. My dollars cost 3 cents per dollar per year.

I rarely use the telephone because he may not want to see me. I have a better chance of seeing the man I want to see if I do go.

Youll have the same problems when I walk out, as you had when I walked in… unless you let me take your problems with me.

Goals aren’t enough. You need goals plus deadlines: goals big enough to get excited about and deadline to make you run. One isn’t much good without the other, but together they can be tremendous.

I don’t like sci-fi/fantasy.

And I’m overcompensated for that. So it’s insane to not use that pedestal to try and at least help someone or something that’s in need.

Besides, switchboard girls and secretaries have become very good. They’ve learned to take you apart. ‘Who? Why? What for? What company?’ You don’t always get by. I seldom call on the phone. I’d rather go.

I’m a lot happier in people’s living rooms weekly than I think I would be if I was really, really relying on a movie career to keep me fulfilled and excited.

I know plenty of actors smarter than me with better taste than me who love horror movies and love sci-fi and it just doesn’t make sense to me.

Life insurance is time. The time a man might not have. If he needs time, he needs life insurance.

You haven’t done anything wrong. You just haven’t done anything, and that’s what’s wrong.

The basic purpose of life insurance is to create cash…nothing more or nothing less. Everything else confuses and complicates.

Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny.

I think I’m the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people. Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny. I’m the least funny person in a room full of funny people.

I don’t think you could ever know just how truly special you are that even on the darkest nights you are my brightest star

Beauty is something wonderful and strange that the artist fashions out of the chaos of the world in the torment of his soul. And when he has made it, it is not given to all to know it.

Cyndi Lauper knows how to work a crowd.

I know Amanda Tapping is a regular now on the show. But I have no plans to do that as we speak. But I don’t know.

You know, 10 years ago I never thought I’d be in this position. It’s a dream and I don’t even know if I dreamed this big.

What peaceful hours I once enjoy’d! How sweet their memory still! But they have left an aching void The world can never fill.

For you see, when us people who know run into each other that’s an event. It almost never happens. Sometimes we meet each other and neither guesses that the other is one who knows. That’s a bad thing. It’s happened to me a lot of times. But you see there are so few of us.

If you don’t know how you feel, you won’t know what you want.