“Life insurance is time. The time a man might not have. If he needs time, he needs life insurance.”

I’m just the least funny person in a room full of funny people, which is basically every single day of work for me.

If I don’t buy it, I can’t sell it.

You know, a man’s life is the most precious thing in the world, isn’t it? So isn’t it odd that a man will insure everything but his life?

I never thought I was gonna live in LA. I thought I was gonna live in New York forever.

Doing something costs something. Doing nothing costs something. And, quite often, doing nothing costs a lot more!

I’ve been pretty lucky, I like my jobs.

I think I’m the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people.

Whereas when you go to New York and you audition for plays, you walk out sweaty and intimidated and nervous and doubting yourself as an actor.

If people understood what life insurance does, we wouldn’t need salesmen to sell it. People would come knocking on the door. But they don’t understand.

When you walk out, the money walks in

The biggest asset you have is your earning capacity, and that depends entirely on your attitude.

The biggest asset you have is your earning capacity, and that depends entirely on your attitude.

When you audition for shows in Hollywood, you go in, you do your scene, maybe you get an adjustment. It’s sort of easy, and a lot of times it just feels sort of rote and simple.

When you audition for shows in Hollywood, you go in, you do your scene, maybe you get an adjustment. It’s sort of easy, and a lot of times it just feels sort of rote and simple.

If you’re starting to lose your faith in the general intelligence of the American populous, there’s nothing like them mistaking pop culture for Van Gogh as a sign that people still read their history books and care about art.

I get up in the morning and I put on makeup and then I say somebody else’s words in someone else’s clothes, and then I go home and watch TV, have a glass of whisky and go to bed.

The only element of it that concerned him was how it might impact him personally.

We’ve also always hoped that there might be a way to avoid dying.

I’m not afraid of anything that might happen to me on this earth, because I know no matter what, nothing can take my spirit from me.

For all the things I’m losing I might aswell resign myself to try and make a change.

If we had been there listening, we still might not have been able to determine exactly what Stanton said. All we know for sure is that everyone was weeping, and the room was full.

I understood that I might fail, but I wouldn’t let it happen because I changed my compass along the way.

The past is so often unknowable not because it is befogged now but because it was befogged then, too, back when it was still the present.

And in a world without heroes, as the movie trailer voice-over guy might say, the slightly awkward can be slightly cool.