“Youll have the same problems when I walk out, as you had when I walked in… unless you let me take your problems with me.”

You’ve got a problem. Part of what you own isn’t yours. It belongs to Uncle Sam. May I show you how much belongs to Uncle Sam?

I meet people and a lot of times, instead of saying, “Are you from the East Coast?” people just go, “you’re from the East Coast, right?”, having no reason to have known that. I don’t know what that is. Maybe it’s just that I’m Jewish.

I do not sell life insurance. I sell money. I sell dollars for pennies apiece. My dollars cost 3 cents per dollar per year.

I rarely use the telephone because he may not want to see me. I have a better chance of seeing the man I want to see if I do go.

Goals aren’t enough. You need goals plus deadlines: goals big enough to get excited about and deadline to make you run. One isn’t much good without the other, but together they can be tremendous.

I don’t like sci-fi/fantasy.

And I’m overcompensated for that. So it’s insane to not use that pedestal to try and at least help someone or something that’s in need.

Besides, switchboard girls and secretaries have become very good. They’ve learned to take you apart. ‘Who? Why? What for? What company?’ You don’t always get by. I seldom call on the phone. I’d rather go.

I’m a lot happier in people’s living rooms weekly than I think I would be if I was really, really relying on a movie career to keep me fulfilled and excited.

I know plenty of actors smarter than me with better taste than me who love horror movies and love sci-fi and it just doesn’t make sense to me.

Life insurance is time. The time a man might not have. If he needs time, he needs life insurance.

Do you know anyone who has a lease on life? It isn’t a question of if; it’s a question of when.

You haven’t done anything wrong. You just haven’t done anything, and that’s what’s wrong.

The basic purpose of life insurance is to create cash…nothing more or nothing less. Everything else confuses and complicates.

Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny.

I think I’m the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people. Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny. I’m the least funny person in a room full of funny people.