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I’m just the least funny person in a room full of funny people, which is basically every single day of work for me.

Ben Feldman

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Funny People Rooms

You’ve got a problem. Part of what you own isn’t yours. It belongs to Uncle Sam. May I show you how much belongs to Uncle Sam?

BEN FELDMAN

You’ve got a problem. Part of what you own isn’t yours. It belongs to Uncle Sam. May I show you how much belongs to Uncle Sam?
BEN FELDMAN

May Uncles
I meet people and a lot of times, instead of saying, “Are you from the East Coast?” people just go, “you’re from the East Coast, right?”, having no reason to have known that. I don’t know what that is. Maybe it’s just that I’m Jewish.

BEN FELDMAN

I meet people and a lot of times, instead of saying, “Are you from the East Coast?” people just go, “you’re from the East Coast, right?”, having no reason to have known that. I don’t know what that is. Maybe it’s just that I’m Jewish.
BEN FELDMAN

East
If you look at the history of advertising, most of them were Jews, so it was only a matter of time before ‘Mad Men’ explored that area of advertising.

BEN FELDMAN

If you look at the history of advertising, most of them were Jews, so it was only a matter of time before ‘Mad Men’ explored that area of advertising.
BEN FELDMAN

Looks Mad
I do not sell life insurance. I sell money. I sell dollars for pennies apiece. My dollars cost 3 cents per dollar per year.

BEN FELDMAN

I do not sell life insurance. I sell money. I sell dollars for pennies apiece. My dollars cost 3 cents per dollar per year.
BEN FELDMAN

Dollar Years
Life insurance is time. The time a man might not have. If he needs time, he needs life insurance.

BEN FELDMAN

Life insurance is time. The time a man might not have. If he needs time, he needs life insurance.
BEN FELDMAN

might Needs
When you realize the writers start writing to who you are, you’re basically reading reviews of yourself. And then it becomes this cyclical nightmare where I feel like I need to play into it, then I find myself acting like the character in real life.

BEN FELDMAN

When you realize the writers start writing to who you are, you’re basically reading reviews of yourself. And then it becomes this cyclical nightmare where I feel like I need to play into it, then I find myself acting like the character in real life.
BEN FELDMAN

Real
I get up in the morning and I put on makeup and then I say somebody else’s words in someone else’s clothes, and then I go home and watch TV, have a glass of whisky and go to bed.

BEN FELDMAN

I get up in the morning and I put on makeup and then I say somebody else’s words in someone else’s clothes, and then I go home and watch TV, have a glass of whisky and go to bed.
BEN FELDMAN

Makeup
The key to a sale in an interview, and the key to an interview is a disturbing question.
BEN FELDMAN

Disturbing Keys
You are already broke and don’t even know it.
BEN FELDMAN

Already Broke Know
You know, a man’s life is the most precious thing in the world, isn’t it? So isn’t it odd that a man will insure everything but his life?
BEN FELDMAN
Work hard. Think big. Listen well.
BEN FELDMAN

Big Hard
The basic purpose of life insurance is to create cash…nothing more or nothing less. Everything else confuses and complicates.

BEN FELDMAN

The basic purpose of life insurance is to create cash…nothing more or nothing less. Everything else confuses and complicates.
BEN FELDMAN
When you audition for shows in Hollywood, you go in, you do your scene, maybe you get an adjustment. It’s sort of easy, and a lot of times it just feels sort of rote and simple.
BEN FELDMAN

New York Simple
If people understood what life insurance does, we wouldn’t need salesmen to sell it. People would come knocking on the door. But they don’t understand.
BEN FELDMAN

Doe Doors
I know plenty of actors smarter than me with better taste than me who love horror movies and love sci-fi and it just doesn’t make sense to me.

BEN FELDMAN

I know plenty of actors smarter than me with better taste than me who love horror movies and love sci-fi and it just doesn’t make sense to me.
BEN FELDMAN
Goals aren’t enough. You need goals plus deadlines: goals big enough to get excited about and deadline to make you run. One isn’t much good without the other, but together they can be tremendous.

BEN FELDMAN

Goals aren’t enough. You need goals plus deadlines: goals big enough to get excited about and deadline to make you run. One isn’t much good without the other, but together they can be tremendous.
BEN FELDMAN

Goal Running

I’m just the least funny person in a room full of funny people, which is basically every single day of work for me.

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More Ben Feldman Quotes