I think I’m the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people. Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny. I’m the least funny person in a room full of funny people.
Besides, switchboard girls and secretaries have become very good. They’ve learned to take you apart. ‘Who? Why? What for? What company?’ You don’t always get by. I seldom call on the phone. I’d rather go.
If you’re starting to lose your faith in the general intelligence of the American populous, there’s nothing like them mistaking pop culture for Van Gogh as a sign that people still read their history books and care about art.
I get up in the morning and I put on makeup and then I say somebody else’s words in someone else’s clothes, and then I go home and watch TV, have a glass of whisky and go to bed.
If people understood what life insurance does, we wouldn’t need salesmen to sell it. People would come knocking on the door. But they don’t understand.
I meet people and a lot of times, instead of saying, “Are you from the East Coast?” people just go, “you’re from the East Coast, right?”, having no reason to have known that. I don’t know what that is. Maybe it’s just that I’m Jewish.
I’m a lot happier in people’s living rooms weekly than I think I would be if I was really, really relying on a movie career to keep me fulfilled and excited.
Read! Study never stops because publications never stop coming in. It’s read and study. And think about what you’re studying. Take it apart and put it together. Ask ‘why?’ And know the answers.
I don’t like horror, which is ridiculous because I’ve been in three horror movies, but when I see those things, I see camera tricks and fake blood and actors screaming and I don’t know understand why other actors don’t see that.
When you audition for shows in Hollywood, you go in, you do your scene, maybe you get an adjustment. It’s sort of easy, and a lot of times it just feels sort of rote and simple.
