“A fellow ought to save a few of the long evenings he spends with his girl till after they’re married.”

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he’s overcharging you.

Flattery won’t hurt you if you don’t swallow it.

One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before.

It’s going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth once they inherit it.

“Why doesn’t the fellow who says, “I’m no speechmaker,” let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration? “

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.

The worst waste of breath, next to playing a saxophone, is advising a son

University: … a place where rich men send their sons who have no aptitude for business.

One of the commonest ailments of the present day is the premature formation of opinion.

I never saw an athletic girl that thought she was strong enough to do indoor work.

A good listener is usually thinking about something else.

Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.

When some fellers decide to retire nobody knows the difference.

Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.

If you haven’t seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven’t seen her smile her prettiest.

The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

After ‘Game of Thrones,’ having a character like that, that’s like the pinnacle of your career.

After the first establishment of identity there comes the imperative need to lose this new-found sense of separateness and to belong to something larger and more powerful than the weak, lonely self. The sense of moral isolation is intolerable to us.

I’m worth more dead than alive. Don’t cry for me after I’m gone; cry for me now.

One of the saddest things is that the only thing that a man can do for eight hours a day, day after day, is work. You can’t eat…nor make love for eight hours…

After my first year on ‘Gossip Girl,’ everybody said, ‘You’ve got to do a big commercial movie, ride this wave.’

Christ is the Son of God. He died to atone for men’s sin, and after three days rose again. This is the most important fact in the universe. I die believing in Christ.

We always admire the other person more after we’ve tried to do his job.

After coitus every animal is sad, except the human female and the rooster.