“Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.”

Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

The longer it takes you to select a cantaloupe, the worse it is!

There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?

Knowin’ all about baseball is just about as profitable as bein’ a good whittler.

It isn’t enough for you to love money – it’s also necessary that money should love you.

Honesty pays, but it doesn’t seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Never tell the box-office man that you can’t hear well or he will sell you a seat where you can’t see either.

There is no failure except in no longer trying.

Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book.

Very often the quiet fellow has said all he knows

Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.

Many a family tree needs trimming

Intelligent people are always on the unpopular side of anything.

Nobuddy ever listened t’ reason on a empty stomach.

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.

In order to live off a garden, you practically have to live in it.

The world and all its wisdom is but a booby, blundering school-boy that needs management and could be managed.

I love Virginians because Virginians are all snobs and I like snobs. A snob has to spend so much time being a snob that he has little time left to meddle with you.

Our national motto is ‘In God we Trust,’ reminding us that faith in our Creator is the most important American value of all.

Whether we or our politicians know it or not, Nature is party to all our deals and decisions, and she has more votes, a longer memory, and a sterner sense of justice than we do.

For Christians, as for all people of faith, reflection, meditation and prayer help us to renew ourselves in God’s love, as we strive daily to become better people.

To all those who have suffered as a consequence of our troubled past I extend my sincere thoughts and deep sympathy. With the benefit of historical hindsight we can all see things which we would wish had been done differently or not at all.

All l mixed up with them, like trying to, having to, move your arms and legs with strings, only the same strings are hitched to all the other arms and legs and the others all trying and they don’t know why either except that the strings are all in one another’s way.

The worst part of being gay in the twentieth century is all that damn disco music to which one has to listen.