If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
GEORGE BURNSThe secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
More George Burns Quotes
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You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
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I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
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I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
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The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
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I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
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It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
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If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
GEORGE BURNS