“Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.”

You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.

It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.

I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

Persist! The world needs all you can give.

The world is all a carcass and vanity, The shadow of a shadow, a play And in one word, just nothing.

I believe – we all pay taxes. I’m happy to pay it, but I hate to have it abused, money wasted, no accountability. That’s going to bother you.

Ants make up two-thirds of the biomass of all the insects. There are millions of species of organisms and we know almost nothing about them.

I’m a guy who’s either going to go full bore, or I’m not going to do it at all.

As a coach, one thing that used to frustrate me was one player would make a bad decision, and that’s all you would read about in the papers all over the country.

Is evolution a theory, a system, or an hypothesis? It is much more: it is a general condition to which all theories, all hypotheses, all systems must bow and which they must satisfy henceforward if they are to be thinkable and true.

Some men are like nails, very easily drawn; others however are more like rivets never drawn at all.