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Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.

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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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Boy Dead Only Sea Sick
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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Better Failure Hate Honesty Something Success
I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
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Access Failure Hate Rather Something
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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Down Finally First Forget Name Net Pull Zipper
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
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Came Down Everything Goes Time Up When
I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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Age Cigar Holder Just Now Put Thrill
I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
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Because Future Go Life Look Rest Spend
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
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One Spent Sunday Town Year
I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
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Age Anywhere Please Simple
I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
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Believe Besides Book Die Down Exist New Now
You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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Fake Got Honest That Trouble
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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Age No Out Women Worth
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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Bed Make Money Stay
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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Air Clean Dirty Remember Sex
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
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Down Else Get Stoop While Wonder
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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Another Care City Close Family Happiness Knit Large Love

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