I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
GEORGE BURNSSex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
More George Burns Quotes
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The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS -
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
GEORGE BURNS -
I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
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You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
GEORGE BURNS -
If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
GEORGE BURNS -
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
GEORGE BURNS -
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
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You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
GEORGE BURNS