“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”

I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.

I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

At my age flowers scare me.

My chief objection is that 99% of sermons and Sunday School teachings are so agonizingly dull.

By the end of the 20th century, up to 90 percent of the sharks, tuna, swordfish, marlins, groupers, turtles, whales, and many other large creatures that prospered in the Gulf for millions of years had been depleted by overfishing.

I was young and dumb back in the ’90s, but I had a lot of fun.

It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.

I wasted a lot of my talent in the ’90s because the money was so big, and I was making so much money,

For someone to promise a percentage type cure for this issue, for instance I had someone who said they had experienced a 90 percent permanent.

I’m 90 years old now, and my motivation hasn’t changed; it’s the same fervour that drives me.

I liken myself to Henry Ford and the auto industry, I give you 90 percent of what most people need.