Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
RON WHITEI love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
More Ron White Quotes
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When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
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Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won’t give my TV show. I put it in my live show.
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The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
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I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
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I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
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TV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
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I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.
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If you become famous and don’t have a live show to back it up, they’re not going to pay you any money.
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Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.
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I’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
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I loved listening to laughter even as a little kid.
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I’m set up where I make a lot of money doing stand-up, and it’s easy.
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I’d rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
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I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
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I go through about 140 cities a year.
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