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Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.

Ron White

If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
RON WHITE

Come Country Down Gulf Joke Out Pollute Rite
I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
RON WHITE

Family Include Know Onstage People Think Written
I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
RON WHITE

Continuity Figure Joke Little Older Show Story Time
Everybody I know is a joke writer.
RON WHITE

Everybody Joke Know Writer
I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
RON WHITE

Chill Critical Keep Product Spaghetti
You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.
RON WHITE

Album Done First Now Some Throw Out Twelve Year
There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.
RON WHITE

Across Bridge Build Comic Kinda One People Through Two Walk
I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn’t care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
RON WHITE

Care Good Idea Laugh Live Make Money Much People
I still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously.
RON WHITE

Hard Laugh Love Make People Serious Stage Still Take Walk Work
TV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
RON WHITE

Day Hard Hate Hour Job People Television Tell Work
I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.
RON WHITE

Daily Friendly Gay Judgement Life Lot Love Men Practise Stuff
I’m not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you’ll pay late.
RON WHITE

Believe Debt Judge Late Universe Unpaidm Buy
My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I’ve been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don’t really look outside for stories.
RON WHITE

Behaviour Derive Enough Life Many Need Out Probably Problem Story Wild Year
I’ve gathered some of my close musical and comedian friends, and we’re going to see if we can’t bring a few laughs to these soldiers, raise some money, and hopefully lift their spirits.
RON WHITE

Bring Friend Gather Hopefully Laugh New Soldier Spirit
It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
RON WHITE

All Record Country Flip Had People Went
I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.
RON WHITE

Country Start Drop Education Reason Surplus Think

Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.

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Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.

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