I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
RON WHITE
I always wanted to be a popular comedian.
More Ron White Quotes
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I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
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I’m set up where I make a lot of money doing stand-up, and it’s easy.
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You can’t fix stupid.
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I’d rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
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I don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.
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There’s no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don’t exist.
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I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
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The only thing I really worry about is my live stand-up show because I have to answer to the fans.
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It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
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My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
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Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I’m pretty good at helping them get there.
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I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He’s probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can’t say that because of Carlin, Cosby and Pryor.
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I’m not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you’ll pay late.
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I want my fans to feel like we’re always in touch. Because without ’em, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this.
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I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
RON WHITE