I go through about 140 cities a year.
RON WHITEI always wanted to be a popular comedian.
More Ron White Quotes
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The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
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There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
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My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
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My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I’ve been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don’t really look outside for stories.
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I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever – plumbers and drywall hangers.
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I loved listening to laughter even as a little kid.
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You can’t fix stupid.
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
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I was a little one-trick pony. I do what I’ve always done. That’s really where my best stuff comes from. I don’t know how it happens. It just happens.
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Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
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Pace, rhythm and timing. Pace, rhythm and timing is what it’s about. The content’s got to be great, but then it’s got to be delivered. It’s a tricky thing to do, and it takes a lot of work.
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The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
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The only thing I really worry about is my live stand-up show because I have to answer to the fans.
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A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.
RON WHITE






