My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
RODNEY DANGERFIELDI haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
More Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
-
-
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we’ll never see each other!
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can’t.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD -
Life is just a bowl of pits.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD