Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
FRAN LEBOWITZIfyou have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
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Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
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If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
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To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
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You’re only as good as your last haircut.
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You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
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Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
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There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
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Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
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I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZ






