Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
FRAN LEBOWITZIf you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
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Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort.
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The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
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When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
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Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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Andy Warhol made fame more famous.
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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
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My favorite animal is steak.
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Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
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In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
FRAN LEBOWITZ