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Every ethnic group has this where people within it will try and tell each other how they should be.

Aisha Tyler

I visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry.
AISHA TYLER

Control Doing Inventing Lying Myself Olympic Phone Visualize Wave Win Winning
So much of a stand-up’s life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.
AISHA TYLER

Doing Funny Life Live Minute Much Quick Radio Sou Spot Stand Stranger Surgical Three
All these young books for women are like I’m 29 with a closet full of Prada shoes and I can’t get a date. Come on.
AISHA TYLER

All Book Closet Come Date Like Prada Shoe Women Young
I’m just going to be the best version of me that I could possibly be and be as funny as I possibly can.
AISHA TYLER

Being Best Find Funny Going People Possibly Version
You can only really learn from failure … To win, you need to fail, and fail hard.
AISHA TYLER

Fail Failure Fun Hard Learn Need Winning
I’m black, and black don’t crack. It does droop.
AISHA TYLER

Black Crack Doe Droop
I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.
AISHA TYLER

Amusement Brush Childhood Life Luckily Moment Other Painful Torture Wrenching
When I get old and slow down I want to look behind me and see all the fire and the wreckage and no stone left unturned.
AISHA TYLER

Behind Fire Look Old Slow Sown Stone Want
I have always been a softie, and I fight it with every fiber of my being. Sadly, my being’s fibers need to hit the gym.
AISHA TYLER

Being Fiber Fighting Gym Hit Need Sad Sadly Softie
I love being married. I love my husband. I think married people always have that thing where they think that the grass is greener on the single side, but all my single friends are like,
AISHA TYLER

Fail Hate Husband Love Think Want
I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
AISHA TYLER

Attract Before Douch Drunken Married Thinking
I thought I was gonna be an attorney, so I went to Dartmouth and I was a government major and I minored in environmental policy, and I didn’t do anything academically around the arts.
AISHA TYLER

Anything Art Attorney Environmental Government Major Minored Policy Thought
I like the company of guys. I have a lot of good girlfriends that I really love, but you know, most of my close friends are men.
AISHA TYLER

Close Company Different Girlfriend Guy Love Men Most Way
I always wanted to be as busy as possible so that if one job went away I’d still have plenty of other things to do.
AISHA TYLER

Away Busy Job Other Plenty Possible Thing Want Went
Am I going to complain about being typecast as smart? I don’t think so.
AISHA TYLER

Complain Going Smart Think Typecast
I like to be nice. I want to be a hero. I want to save people. Or just kill zombies, because they deserve it, because they’re already dead and they can’t feel it. They don’t have feelings.
AISHA TYLER

Deserve Hero Kill Nice People Save Zombie

Every ethnic group has this where people within it will try and tell each other how they should be.

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Every ethnic group has this where people within it will try and tell each other how they should be.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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