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I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.

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Amusement Brush Childhood Life Luckily Moment Other Painful Torture Wrenching

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Whereas regular people tend to run away – because the embarrassing story is always going to be the really funny story.
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Always Away Funny Going People Regular Run Story
I thought I was gonna be an attorney, so I went to Dartmouth and I was a government major and I minored in environmental policy, and I didn’t do anything academically around the arts.
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Anything Art Attorney Environmental Government Major Minored Policy Thought
Sometimes the mistake I see people make is thinking that they’re always going to be up, and I think that’s impossible for anyone.
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Always Anyone Going Impossible Mistake People Sometimes Thinking
I want everyone, regardless of gender, to live a life free of restriction or fear, able to pursue their own personal brand of happiness and fulfillment.
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Battle Brand Easy Fought Fulfillment Goal Matter One Personal Really Sacrifice Worth
I am absolutely a Giants fan and I’m a Dynasty baby so I was a 49ers fan for a long time.
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Absolutely Baby Dynasty Fan Giant Long Time
It is hard, it lasts all day, the lighting is generally fluorescent, and, apparently, drinking at your desk is frowned upon.
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Apparently Day Desk Drink Fluorescent Frown Generally Hard Last Lighting Upon
But I think what diversity brings to any daypart is more eyeballs, just more opportunity.
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Diversity Idea Important Quota Satisfy Some Television Think Trying
If you haven’t noticed yet, working sucks. Unless you are a racecar driver or an astronaut or Beyonce, working is completely and utterly devoid of awesome.
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I like grown up comedy.
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Comedy Grown Like Up
All these young books for women are like I’m 29 with a closet full of Prada shoes and I can’t get a date. Come on.
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All Book Closet Come Date Like Prada Shoe Women Young
I was born in California, raised a vegetarian, and love science fiction, so don’t tell me how I need to be in order to fit your standards.
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Country Fiction Fit Love Need Order Raise Science Standard Vegetarian
I always wanted to be as busy as possible so that if one job went away I’d still have plenty of other things to do.
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Away Busy Job Other Plenty Possible Thing Want Went
I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
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Pander Time Trying Want
I wish I could say I’m an architect and planned it this way, foresaw doing all these things, but honestly, I’ve been lucky that things have come across my path and they’ve worked out well for me.
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Across Almost Architect Come Foresaw Honesty Lucy Out Path Plan Pressure Well
the freedom to live a life free of fear of violence, to select a fulfilling career and be compensated fairly, to choose when to start a family, to marry whom you love.
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Brand Carrer Compensate Everyone Family Free Freedom Life Live Marry Personal Start
If you ever needed to ruin someone’s fun, I mean really poop a party, just move things to the workplace. Fun terminated.
AISHA TYLER

Move Need Poop Ruin Someone Terminate Thing Workplace

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