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I’m just myself, so I don’t know that I think of myself as a nerd icon.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

It is hard, it lasts all day, the lighting is generally fluorescent, and, apparently, drinking at your desk is frowned upon.
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Apparently Day Desk Drink Fluorescent Frown Generally Hard Last Lighting Upon
Successful people just don’t let failure define them or keep them from doing what they want to do. For example, I’d have people come up to me after my shows, and they’d say they want to do stand-up but are scared they’re going to fail. I’d tell them,
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Define Doing Example Failure Keep People Scare Show Fall Successful Want
Wipe the rivulets of watery drool from your face, and do it again, like an obstinate toddler running against the wall with his head in a bucket.
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Again Bucket Drool Fave Heard Rivulet Running Toddler Wall Watery
My parents were vegetarians. I’d show up at school, this giant black kid, with none of the cool clothes and a tofu sandwich and celery sticks.
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Cloth Kids Parent School Stick Vegetarian
So what I would say to other people is to just embrace who you are because you will become instantly happier.
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Embrace Happier Instant Other People Say
Sometimes the mistake I see people make is thinking that they’re always going to be up, and I think that’s impossible for anyone.
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Always Anyone Going Impossible Mistake People Sometimes Thinking
I’m sure I had low-level scurvy all of my childhood.
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All Childhood Level Low Scurvy Sure
I really do know football.
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Do Football Know Really
the freedom to live a life free of fear of violence, to select a fulfilling career and be compensated fairly, to choose when to start a family, to marry whom you love.
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Brand Carrer Compensate Everyone Family Free Freedom Life Live Marry Personal Start
Every ethnic group has this where people within it will try and tell each other how they should be.
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Each Embrace Ethnic Group Other People Teach Tell Trying
Karaoke is the great equalizer.
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Equalizer Inspirational Karaoke
When I was younger, those kinds of comments bothered me, but eventually got to a point where I realized I wasn’t going to change who I was.
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Bother Change Comment Eventually Going Kind Point Realize Younger
Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry ass up off the floor, stumble to your feet.
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Ability Ass Disappointment Feet Floor Real Sacrifice Scrape Sorry Stumble
I want everyone, regardless of gender, to live a life free of restriction or fear, able to pursue their own personal brand of happiness and fulfillment.
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Battle Brand Easy Fought Fulfillment Goal Matter One Personal Really Sacrifice Worth
I’ve just got to be myself and hopefully people will find me. And my audience did find me.
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Audience Find Hopefully Myself People
“You are going to fail, and anyone who is success has powered through many, many failures.”
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Anyone Failure Fall Going Many Powered Success
I don’t believe in superheroes but I love Batman movies. There’s a part of every person that is entertained by the idealistic, the fantastic.
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Batman Believe Entertain Fantastic Idealistic Movie Person Superhero
Marriage isn’t a carnival ride.
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Carnival Marriage Ride
But I think what diversity brings to any daypart is more eyeballs, just more opportunity.
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Diversity Idea Important Quota Satisfy Some Television Think Trying
If you haven’t noticed yet, working sucks. Unless you are a racecar driver or an astronaut or Beyonce, working is completely and utterly devoid of awesome.
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Astronaut Awesome Celebrity Drinking Driver Fun Party People Racecar Suck Unless Working
When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.
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I like grown up comedy.
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Comedy Grown Like Up
I love being married. I love my husband. I think married people always have that thing where they think that the grass is greener on the single side, but all my single friends are like,
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Fail Hate Husband Love Think Want
Pop culture is great, but it can be bad, at times.
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Bad Culture Great Pop Time
When I was young I thought, ‘Yeah, people don’t see, they’re not recognizing how funny I am, and how talented I am’. And the guys that mentored me were like, ‘
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Funny Guy Look People Recognize Talented Thought
I have always been a softie, and I fight it with every fiber of my being. Sadly, my being’s fibers need to hit the gym.
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Being Fiber Fighting Gym Hit Need Sad Sadly Softie
I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living. I actually wanted to be an attorney.
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Actually Attorney Comedy Living Something Wanted

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