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I actually wanted to be an attorney. I did do things on the side like improv and sketch comedy, but law was my focus. I was a very bookish, academic kid. When I got out of college,

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Marriage isn’t a carnival ride.
AISHA TYLER

Carnival Marriage Ride
Successful people just don’t let failure define them or keep them from doing what they want to do. For example, I’d have people come up to me after my shows, and they’d say they want to do stand-up but are scared they’re going to fail. I’d tell them,
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So what I would say to other people is to just embrace who you are because you will become instantly happier.
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Embrace Happier Instant Other People Say
I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
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Pander So Try Want
Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry ass up off the floor, stumble to your feet.
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Ability Ass Disappointment Feet Floor Real Sacrifice Scrape Sorry Stumble
I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
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Pander Time Trying Want
I was born in California, raised a vegetarian, and love science fiction, so don’t tell me how I need to be in order to fit your standards.
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Country Fiction Fit Love Need Order Raise Science Standard Vegetarian
I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.
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Country Dehydrate Grade Green Most Seventh Smelling Spent Summer
Real success and accomplishment, at whatever it is you are passionate about, requires real work.
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Accomplishment Passionate Require Running Sorry Success Wall Work
I don’t know if I was always an open person, but I think stand-up comics specifically have this way of running towards embarrassing things.
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Pop culture is great, but it can be bad, at times.
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Bad Culture Great Pop Time
On general principle, I boycott shows that don’t employ actors.
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Actor Boycott Employ General Principle Show
I always wanted to be as busy as possible so that if one job went away I’d still have plenty of other things to do.
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Away Busy Job Other Plenty Possible Thing Want Went
I wish I could say I’m an architect and planned it this way, foresaw doing all these things, but honestly, I’ve been lucky that things have come across my path and they’ve worked out well for me.
AISHA TYLER

Across Almost Architect Come Foresaw Honesty Lucy Out Path Plan Pressure Well
After going through a lot of procedures and spending a lot of money … the doctor said, ‘Look, based on what we’re seeing here, I just don’t think this is going to happen for you.’
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I’m just going to be the best version of me that I could possibly be and be as funny as I possibly can.
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Much like a wobbly toddler or an unhinged politician, one immediately looks for someone else to blame. God. Your parents. Ex-girlfriends. Undocumented immigrants. Marvin in Human Resources. China.
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I’ve always been a gamer, and I had a period where I was gaming at a really hardcore level.
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Always Game Gamer Hardcore Level Period
Nothing really worth having is easy to get. The hard-fought battles, the goals won with sacrifice, are the ones that matter.
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Battle Easy Fought Goal Hard Motivational Sacrifice Worth
Wipe the rivulets of watery drool from your face, and do it again, like an obstinate toddler running against the wall with his head in a bucket.
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I have always been a softie, and I fight it with every fiber of my being. Sadly, my being’s fibers need to hit the gym.
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I’m just myself, so I don’t know that I think of myself as a nerd icon.
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Icon Know Myself Nerd Thinking
Am I going to complain about being typecast as smart? I don’t think so.
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Complain Going Smart Think Typecast
I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.
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Glamorous Stand Tell Up
When I was young I thought, ‘Yeah, people don’t see, they’re not recognizing how funny I am, and how talented I am’. And the guys that mentored me were like, ‘
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Funny Guy Look People Recognize Talented Thought
I’m sure I had low-level scurvy all of my childhood.
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All Childhood Level Low Scurvy Sure
I don’t believe in superheroes but I love Batman movies. There’s a part of every person that is entertained by the idealistic, the fantastic.
AISHA TYLER

Batman Believe Entertain Fantastic Idealistic Movie Person Superhero

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