I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.
AISHA TYLERI love to be busy and be challenged. I’m my happiest when I’m under pressure and almost overwhelmed by how much I have to get done.
More Aisha Tyler Quotes
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I like the company of guys. I have a lot of good girlfriends that I really love, but you know, most of my close friends are men.
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I visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry.
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I was raised by a single dad, so I’ve always just kind of liked “guys” stuff. I think my dad just took me to the things he was interested in.
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When I was younger, those kinds of comments bothered me, but eventually got to a point where I realized I wasn’t going to change who I was.
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I have one girlfriend who is dating right now – she’s divorced – and she’s on Tinder, so we play Tinder. I know that’s not a real game, but it’s my favorite thing to do.
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I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living. I actually wanted to be an attorney.
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Wipe the rivulets of watery drool from your face, and do it again, like an obstinate toddler running against the wall with his head in a bucket.
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I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.
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I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
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I will say that stand-up is my first love; it’s how I got started and is in my bones.
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I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.
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I’m sure I had low-level scurvy all of my childhood.
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I’m such a geek, and have always been a real nerd.
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Marriage isn’t a carnival ride.
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If you haven’t noticed yet, working sucks. Unless you are a racecar driver or an astronaut or Beyonce, working is completely and utterly devoid of awesome.
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But I think what diversity brings to any daypart is more eyeballs, just more opportunity.
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I’m just going to be the best version of me that I could possibly be and be as funny as I possibly can.
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Pop culture is great, but it can be bad, at times.
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I was really unhappy. I had a great job that I should have loved, yet I was miserable. I slowly realized that was because I wasn’t performing. So I just tried stand-up and fell in love with it after one performance.
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I want to point out, that this is not my fault that everyone’s afraid of me, because I did not kill a couple people the other day.
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Real success and accomplishment, at whatever it is you are passionate about, requires real work.
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They always say some women like to fix people. I don’t like to fix people, but you like a challenge.
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I love Toronto. I love it. I love Toronto. I love Canada. I can’t wait to get back. Can’t wait to have some Timbits.
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You can only really learn from failure … To win, you need to fail, and fail hard.
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One thing we do really well on Archer and one thing I’ve always tried to do in my comedy and my writing and my podcast is to never speak down to my audience.
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I like grown up comedy.
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