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I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.

Aisha Tyler

One thing we do really well on Archer and one thing I’ve always tried to do in my comedy and my writing and my podcast is to never speak down to my audience.
AISHA TYLER

Always Archer Audience Comedy Podcast Really Tried Writing
I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.
AISHA TYLER

Amusement Brush Childhood Life Luckily Moment Other Painful Torture Wrenching
After going through a lot of procedures and spending a lot of money … the doctor said, ‘Look, based on what we’re seeing here, I just don’t think this is going to happen for you.’
AISHA TYLER

Based Doctors Going Happen Look Procedure Spending Thinking
They always say some women like to fix people. I don’t like to fix people, but you like a challenge.
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Always Challenge Fix People Some Women
I wish I could say I’m an architect and planned it this way, foresaw doing all these things, but honestly, I’ve been lucky that things have come across my path and they’ve worked out well for me.
AISHA TYLER

Across Almost Architect Come Foresaw Honesty Lucy Out Path Plan Pressure Well
I love to be busy and be challenged. I’m my happiest when I’m under pressure and almost overwhelmed by how much I have to get done.
AISHA TYLER

Challenge Done Happiest Much Overwhelmed Pressure Under
Wipe the rivulets of watery drool from your face, and do it again, like an obstinate toddler running against the wall with his head in a bucket.
AISHA TYLER

Again Bucket Drool Fave Heard Rivulet Running Toddler Wall Watery
When one is undone—sprawled across the cold tile of a public bathroom in a pool of one’s own vomit, or shivering in the back of a taxi in a pair of urine-soaked skinny jeans with no money for cab fare and a dead cell phone battery.
AISHA TYLER

Cell Doing Funny Girlfriend Phone Quick Radio Spot Stranger Undone
I have always been a softie, and I fight it with every fiber of my being. Sadly, my being’s fibers need to hit the gym.
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Being Fiber Fighting Gym Hit Need Sad Sadly Softie
Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry ass up off the floor, stumble to your feet.
AISHA TYLER

Ability Ass Disappointment Feet Floor Real Sacrifice Scrape Sorry Stumble
Comedy is ugly. It’s honest, it’s raw.
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Comedy Honest Raw Ugly
TV always wants more people to be watching.
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More People Television Want Watch
I’m black, and black don’t crack. It does droop.
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Black Crack Doe Droop
I’ve always been a gamer, and I had a period where I was gaming at a really hardcore level.
AISHA TYLER

Always Game Gamer Hardcore Level Period
I talk to grown-ups who are out to have a good time and they want to be spoken to in a different way.
AISHA TYLER

Different Good Grown Spoken Time Trying Up Want Way
I like the company of guys. I have a lot of good girlfriends that I really love, but you know, most of my close friends are men.
AISHA TYLER

Close Company Different Girlfriend Guy Love Men Most Way
Sometimes the mistake I see people make is thinking that they’re always going to be up, and I think that’s impossible for anyone.
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Always Anyone Going Impossible Mistake People Sometimes Thinking
I’m the kindest, most supportive friend ever, probably to my own detriment, but I hope that I am toughening up a little bit.
AISHA TYLER

Friend Hope Kindest Little Own Probably Supportive
But I think what diversity brings to any daypart is more eyeballs, just more opportunity.
AISHA TYLER

Diversity Idea Important Quota Satisfy Some Television Think Trying
Every ethnic group has this where people within it will try and tell each other how they should be.
AISHA TYLER

Each Embrace Ethnic Group Other People Teach Tell Trying
You just have to keep getting up’. And I look back and they were right. They were all right.
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Back Getting Keep Look Right Up
When I was young I thought, ‘Yeah, people don’t see, they’re not recognizing how funny I am, and how talented I am’. And the guys that mentored me were like, ‘
AISHA TYLER

Funny Guy Look People Recognize Talented Thought
All these young books for women are like I’m 29 with a closet full of Prada shoes and I can’t get a date. Come on.
AISHA TYLER

All Book Closet Come Date Like Prada Shoe Women Young
I will say that stand-up is my first love; it’s how I got started and is in my bones.
AISHA TYLER

Bone First How Love Say Stand Started Up
I started out being a stand up and writing my own material. That took me to Talk Soup, where I was writing and performing for TV.
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Dad Eye Give Up Material Started Writing
I actually wanted to be an attorney. I did do things on the side like improv and sketch comedy, but law was my focus. I was a very bookish, academic kid. When I got out of college,
AISHA TYLER

Academic Actually Attorney Bookish College Comedy Focus Improv Kid Law Sketch Thing Want
I always tell people that if you really want to know somebody, they should listen to that person’s interview with me. I spend a lot of time with my guests.
AISHA TYLER

Always Guest Interview Know Listen People Person Really Somebody Tell Want

I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.

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I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.

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