Nothing really worth having is easy to get. The hard-fought battles, the goals won with sacrifice, are the ones that matter.
AISHA TYLERIf you ever needed to ruin someone’s fun, I mean really poop a party, just move things to the workplace. Fun terminated.
More Aisha Tyler Quotes
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After going through a lot of procedures and spending a lot of money … the doctor said, ‘Look, based on what we’re seeing here, I just don’t think this is going to happen for you.’
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Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.
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I have always been a softie, and I fight it with every fiber of my being. Sadly, my being’s fibers need to hit the gym.
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I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living. I actually wanted to be an attorney.
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Wipe the rivulets of watery drool from your face, and do it again, like an obstinate toddler running against the wall with his head in a bucket.
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I visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry.
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I’m my own boss and my boss is a total ass.
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Real success and accomplishment, at whatever it is you are passionate about, requires real work.
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I have one girlfriend who is dating right now – she’s divorced – and she’s on Tinder, so we play Tinder. I know that’s not a real game, but it’s my favorite thing to do.
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I really do know football.
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I’ve always been a gamer, and I had a period where I was gaming at a really hardcore level.
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I’m just myself, so I don’t know that I think of myself as a nerd icon.
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I thought I was gonna be an attorney, so I went to Dartmouth and I was a government major and I minored in environmental policy, and I didn’t do anything academically around the arts.
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Pop culture hales you and wants you to fail.
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Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry ass up off the floor, stumble to your feet.
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I love being married. I love my husband. I think married people always have that thing where they think that the grass is greener on the single side, but all my single friends are like,
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I don’t know if I was always an open person, but I think stand-up comics specifically have this way of running towards embarrassing things.
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Pop culture is great, but it can be bad, at times.
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I like to be nice. I want to be a hero. I want to save people. Or just kill zombies, because they deserve it, because they’re already dead and they can’t feel it. They don’t have feelings.
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It is hard, it lasts all day, the lighting is generally fluorescent, and, apparently, drinking at your desk is frowned upon.
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I grew up on the back of a motorcycle – my dad didn’t have a car until I was a teenager. And then my closest friend from grade school was a guy.
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I do not actually DO these things, but I see myself doing them, and that is almost MORE satisfying, because I am also lying down.
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Comedy is ugly. It’s honest, it’s raw.
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I will say that stand-up is my first love; it’s how I got started and is in my bones.
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I like grown up comedy.
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You can only really learn from failure … To win, you need to fail, and fail hard.
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