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I visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry.

Aisha Tyler

I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
AISHA TYLER

Attract Before Douch Drunken Married Thinking
I grew up on the back of a motorcycle – my dad didn’t have a car until I was a teenager. And then my closest friend from grade school was a guy.
AISHA TYLER

Back Car Dad Grade Motorcycle School Teenager
I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
AISHA TYLER

Pander So Try Want
I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living. I actually wanted to be an attorney.
AISHA TYLER

Actually Attorney Comedy Living Something Wanted
Pop culture hales you and wants you to fail.
AISHA TYLER

Culture Failing Fall Pop Want
I wish I could say I’m an architect and planned it this way, foresaw doing all these things, but honestly, I’ve been lucky that things have come across my path and they’ve worked out well for me.
AISHA TYLER

Across Almost Architect Come Foresaw Honesty Lucy Out Path Plan Pressure Well
I do not actually DO these things, but I see myself doing them, and that is almost MORE satisfying, because I am also lying down.
AISHA TYLER

Actually Almost Down Lying More Myself Satisfying
Nothing really worth having is easy to get. The hard-fought battles, the goals won with sacrifice, are the ones that matter.
AISHA TYLER

Battle Easy Fought Goal Hard Motivational Sacrifice Worth
I visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry.
AISHA TYLER

Control Doing Inventing Lying Myself Olympic Phone Visualize Wave Win Winning
“You are going to fail, and anyone who is success has powered through many, many failures.”
AISHA TYLER

Anyone Failure Fall Going Many Powered Success
I’m such a geek, and have always been a real nerd.
AISHA TYLER

Always Geek Nerd Real Such
No one wants to hear about how awesome you were; people want to hear about the time you blew it.
AISHA TYLER

Awesome Blew Hear Need People Thinking Time Want
You just have to keep getting up’. And I look back and they were right. They were all right.
AISHA TYLER

Back Getting Keep Look Right Up
I love it when I come across a word I don’t know. And I would never treat my audience like they weren’t smart enough to come along with me.
AISHA TYLER

Across Audience Come Enough Know Smart Treat Word
I’m sure I had low-level scurvy all of my childhood.
AISHA TYLER

All Childhood Level Low Scurvy Sure
I love to be busy and be challenged. I’m my happiest when I’m under pressure and almost overwhelmed by how much I have to get done.
AISHA TYLER

Challenge Done Happiest Much Overwhelmed Pressure Under
So I think the longer you do stand-up, the more comfortable you are. You stop wanting to hide your foibles and instead want to show who you are.
AISHA TYLER

Comfortable Foibe Hide Instead Longer Show Stand Think Up Wanting
The best advice anybody could have given me was to keep getting up over and over again.
AISHA TYLER

Advice Again Anybody Best Get Given Over
You know, it’s about getting out there and having a good time. Not about worrying .
AISHA TYLER

Book Getting Good Having Shoe Time Women Worry
Marriage isn’t a carnival ride.
AISHA TYLER

Carnival Marriage Ride
I’m my own boss and my boss is a total ass.
AISHA TYLER

Ass Boss My Own Total
I love being married. I love my husband. I think married people always have that thing where they think that the grass is greener on the single side, but all my single friends are like,
AISHA TYLER

Fail Hate Husband Love Think Want
I actually wanted to be an attorney. I did do things on the side like improv and sketch comedy, but law was my focus. I was a very bookish, academic kid. When I got out of college,
AISHA TYLER

Academic Actually Attorney Bookish College Comedy Focus Improv Kid Law Sketch Thing Want
After going through a lot of procedures and spending a lot of money … the doctor said, ‘Look, based on what we’re seeing here, I just don’t think this is going to happen for you.’
AISHA TYLER

Based Doctors Going Happen Look Procedure Spending Thinking
I have always been a softie, and I fight it with every fiber of my being. Sadly, my being’s fibers need to hit the gym.
AISHA TYLER

Being Fiber Fighting Gym Hit Need Sad Sadly Softie
Sometimes the mistake I see people make is thinking that they’re always going to be up, and I think that’s impossible for anyone.
AISHA TYLER

Always Anyone Going Impossible Mistake People Sometimes Thinking
I like the company of guys. I have a lot of good girlfriends that I really love, but you know, most of my close friends are men.
AISHA TYLER

Close Company Different Girlfriend Guy Love Men Most Way

I visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry.

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I visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry.

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Popular Authors

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