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I was raised by a single dad, so I’ve always just kind of liked “guys” stuff. I think my dad just took me to the things he was interested in.

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I thought I was gonna be an attorney, so I went to Dartmouth and I was a government major and I minored in environmental policy, and I didn’t do anything academically around the arts.
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Much like a wobbly toddler or an unhinged politician, one immediately looks for someone else to blame. God. Your parents. Ex-girlfriends. Undocumented immigrants. Marvin in Human Resources. China.
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I really do know football.
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I don’t want to be pandered to, so I try not to pander.
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“Trust me, you don’t want to have to actually interact with these people.”
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I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.
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I liked comedy, but didn’t know it was something you could do for a living. I actually wanted to be an attorney.
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Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on, but I definitely do not have man hands.
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I wish I could say I’m an architect and planned it this way, foresaw doing all these things, but honestly, I’ve been lucky that things have come across my path and they’ve worked out well for me.
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One thing we do really well on Archer and one thing I’ve always tried to do in my comedy and my writing and my podcast is to never speak down to my audience.
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On general principle, I boycott shows that don’t employ actors.
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I want to point out, that this is not my fault that everyone’s afraid of me, because I did not kill a couple people the other day.
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If you haven’t noticed yet, working sucks. Unless you are a racecar driver or an astronaut or Beyonce, working is completely and utterly devoid of awesome.
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Wounds turn into scars and scars make you tough.
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