Welfare is monetary methadone.
ADAM CAROLLAI don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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The truth is we’re all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else’s book.
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I get depressed at airports.
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I’m a comedian, not a politician.
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Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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If you are tuning in just for the show, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
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A lot of people would say, to be truthful is to tell all, every dalliance, every crisis. They might be right on paper, but in practice, it’s not a great way to go.
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I didn’t have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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I don’t know anything about computers.
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I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven’t seen one pie commercial.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
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That’s the thing I love about sports: sports force you to quit. You can’t pursue your dream till you’re 46. When it comes to acting, writing, comedy, nobody ever stops you.
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they’d be off TV. They’re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we’d know who she was?
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I’m harmless. I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody. When people know you’re that way, you can say stuff that the creepy guy at your office could never get away with.
ADAM CAROLLA