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I get depressed at airports.

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Airport Depress Depressed Fear Height Scare Shy

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People look at me, and they go, ‘You’re white, you’re smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.’
ADAM CAROLLA

College Look People Smart White
I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.
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Daughter Issue Love Mother Much Women
My first car was a motorcycle.
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Buy Car First Mine Motorcycle Vehicles
I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
ADAM CAROLLA

Agnostic Atheist God Law Thinking
Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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I used to be a Democrat, now I’m basically a Republican.
ADAM CAROLLA

Democrat Democratic Republican Used
I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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Amount Art Get Joke Naked People Probably Reality Standing Telling Thinking
We’ve got black and white, we’ve got Hispanic and Asian, we got gay, straight, and Guttenberg, all working together for one common goal: to get the mirror ball.
ADAM CAROLLA

Asian Black Hispanic Straight Together White Working
So most people don’t have the courage to admit there’s no God and they know it. They feel it. They try to suppress it. And if you bring it up they get angry because it freaks them out.
ADAM CAROLLA

Admit Bringing Courage God Keep People Suppress
As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They’re the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math.
ADAM CAROLLA

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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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Everyone keeps saying, “Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating.” It’s like saying, “How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she’s been with Brad Pitt?” I don’t care.
ADAM CAROLLA

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I’m a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I’m into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
ADAM CAROLLA

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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
ADAM CAROLLA

Building Car Life Some Working Wrenching
When you do television, there’s more to do, and when you do new television, there’s a lot more to do, especially when you don’t have partner. I miss not having that person.
ADAM CAROLLA

Especially Lot Missing More Partner Television
That’s an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone… forever?
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Forever Funny Humor Interesting Philosophical Question
No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
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Book Comedian Comedy Enjoy Fun Read Reader
I give women two types of orgasms. Fake and none.
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Fake Funny Humor None Orgasm Two Type Women
I get depressed at airports.
ADAM CAROLLA

Airport Depress Depressed Fear Height Scare Shy
I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
ADAM CAROLLA

Care Connection Country Hollywood Protection
Life is just the time between crapping yourself.
ADAM CAROLLA

Crapping Experience Explore Life Yourself
No one is depressed when they’re being chased by a bear.
ADAM CAROLLA

Bear Chasing Depressed
Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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Attracted Chick Doing Happen Love Dude Money Successful
Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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Desire Infused Need Office Passion Patriotism Place Probably Vigor
When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
ADAM CAROLLA

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He doesn’t sound like a guy who’s done a onesome, let alone a threesome.
ADAM CAROLLA

Done Funny Guy Humor Onesome Threesome
I’m like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
ADAM CAROLLA

Guy Need Personality Pople Represent Want

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