“We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.”

I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.

I know everything because I know nothing.

I don’t know anything about computers.

If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.

I’m really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it’s a million miles down the road.

Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.

The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.

The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I’m not sure why.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.

I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much. Some people do. It takes a certain breed of cat. .

I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.

I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.

There is a ton of pressure and you need to read cue cards. I am not a good cue card reader.

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can’t just throw your hands up and enjoy it.

If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife’s side of the bed at night.

I see myself as a huge fiery comet, a shooting star. Everyone stops, points up and gasps “Oh look at that!” Then – whoosh, and I’m gone… and they’ll never see anything like it ever again… and they won’t be able to forget me – ever.

Our yesterday’s to-morrow now is gone, And still a new to-morrow does come on. We by to-morrow draw out all our store, Till the exhausted well can yield no more.

Till the whole stream, which stopped him, should be gone, That runs, and as it runs, for ever will run on.

In this respect, the history of science, like the history of all civilization, has gone through cycles.

Toby: All right. It couldn’t have gone far, right? Sam: No. Toby: Somewhere in this building…is our talent.

It’s hard to say what I want my legacy to be when I’m long gone.

Toby: All right. It couldn’t have gone far, right? Sam: No. Toby: Somewhere in this building…is our talent.

You know that saying about how you don’t know what you have until it’s gone-I already did know what I had, and now that she’s gone, I know even more.