California is like the hot blond high school chick who’s been getting by on her looks, but now she’s 45 and falling apart.
ADAM CAROLLAI am not a good cue card reader.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it’s about fudge packing and triple D’s at 13.
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys.
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People have to be realistic, or the dream just drags on.
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The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
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The best gift you can give yourself is some drive–that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates.
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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.
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I would say the podcast is my favorite because I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format.
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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When you’re doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle.
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Telling them to stop isn’t going to help. There has to be some incentive for them to alter their behavior.
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I’d never hurt another person.
ADAM CAROLLA