I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
ADAM CAROLLA
It’s something I’ve always kicked around, not doing the eBook but the Rich Man, Poor Man thing.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.
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I am not agnostic. I am atheist. I don’t think there is no God; I know there’s no God. I know there’s no God the same way I know many other laws in our universe.
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Figure out what to do, then take a nap.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don’t vote that way.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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I don’t burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they’re so suggestible.
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Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money – do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!
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Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
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If you spend your life walking through somebody else’s museum, you never find out whether you’re Rembrandt or not.
ADAM CAROLLA