The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
ADAM CAROLLAIf you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you’ll have a good life.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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This is why the terrorists hate us. And it’s not the glitter and it’s not the pomp and circumstance.
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I’ve never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I’ve never left behind.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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And the mirror ball doesn’t care what color you are, and it doesn’t care how rich your parents are, and it doesn’t care what God you pray to
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen pie advertised. That’s how you know it’s good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts.
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I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don’t have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn’t very good at it.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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I’d be at someone’s house or be up on the roof all day and I’d get lonely – stir crazy – and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life.
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When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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I am semi-ambivalent about being on camera – sort of low-key. I don’t like being on camera stuff that much.
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I know there’s no God and I know most of the world knows that as well. They just won’t admit it because there’s another thing they know. They know they’re going to die and it freaks them out.
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The pace of radio is very fast. Boom, boom, with a little six minute segment, then on to the next thing. With podcasts you can talk about something for 25 minutes if you like – there is a lot of artistic freedom with it.
ADAM CAROLLA