Dog’s listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
TIM ALLENI have a thing for tools.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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The world’s a mean place. It’s unfair, then it’s fair. It’s hateful, then it’s loving. It’s a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
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Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.
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Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison.
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You don’t know what people are really like until they’re under a lot of stress.
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
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In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
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Real men don’t use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together.
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Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.
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Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
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In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
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If it ain’t broke, you can probably still fix it.
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I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I’ve never gotten over it.
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I don’t understand why it has to be either – or – either socialism or democracy. Why can’t we combine things to get the best of each system?
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Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
TIM ALLEN