They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.
TIM ALLENI am a thespian trapped in a man’s body.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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But separate a man from his car – that’s inhuman.
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All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.
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Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
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I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.
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Never comment on a woman’s rear end. Never use the words ‘large’ or ‘size’ with ‘rear end’. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.
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Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.
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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.
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The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas – where it’s a beautiful theater – is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
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When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
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I’m a very bad student, but a great learner.
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Boys can be disgusting. You can’t leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We’re just obnoxious.
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
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My comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.
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If you want to condemn yourself for the mistakes you’ve made, let’s be fair, that means you’ve got to congratulate yourself for all the good things you’ve done. It’s okay to say, “God, I wish I’d done this; yeah, but I did do that.” Then it kind of balances out.
TIM ALLEN