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Elephants and grandchildren never forget.

Andy Rooney

The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
ANDY ROONEY

Big Bookstore Diet Eat Yourself
Don’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.
ANDY ROONEY

Advice Cook Himself Meat
I’ve learned, That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
ANDY ROONEY

Children Gift Learning Myself
No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.
ANDY ROONEY

Bad Book Guy Oneself Writing
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
ANDY ROONEY

Chance Probability Time Wrong Yourself
I don’t know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you’ve taken a pill out?
ANDY ROONEY

Hands Mystery Pill Yourself
The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.
ANDY ROONEY

Greatness Mindset Virtue Way
I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
ANDY ROONEY

End Fast Learning Myself Paper
I’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY

Eat Learning Myself Word
I can’t choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.
ANDY ROONEY

Action Feeling Myself Work
I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that’s why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
ANDY ROONEY

Business Computer Myself Writing
Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
ANDY ROONEY

Age Experience Level
I’ve learned that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
ANDY ROONEY

Deserve Learning Myself Smile
Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
ANDY ROONEY

Myself Opinion People
My most serious character flaw is that I don’t deny myself much.
ANDY ROONEY

Character Flaw Myself Serious
It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
ANDY ROONEY

Better Truth World

Elephants and grandchildren never forget.

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Elephants and grandchildren never forget.

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